Baby Confusions explained.

Go to any modern mom and she can give you definitions and maybe even personal stories on her experience with these items, but go to any new dad to be, and you have nothing but confusion. Terms like "peanut shell sling", "Hooter Hider", "Fuzzi Bunz", and "Woozit".

Now I am not a dumb dad so I can figure a few things out:


"Sling" refers to a toy I used to play with. The sling-shot, so therefore, a "peanut shell sling" must be some sort of device moms use to shoot things with (obviously peanuts) and to what? well, probably baby. Maybe it's a game moms play. "Hit the baby with peanuts". Sounds silly, bur if mom is staying at home, maybe this keeps her from getting bored.

"Fuzzi Bunz" had to have been created in the early 90's (since they replaced the S's with Z's and the Y with an I). My guess is that this is a form of treatment cream. "If your baby has a rash that gets so bad it's growing fuzz, you need Fuzzi Bunz!"

"Hooter Hider", ok so most guys know that hooter references more than vocal noises of owls. It's kind of a no-brainer. It must be a way to cover a particular part of the body, so simple reasoning would say that this is nothing more than a bra.

Finally the "woozit". Otherwise known as a "What-cha-ma-call-it", "Thing-a-ma-jig" and "Doo-Hickey" which goes to show that it has many purposes because they cannot decide on a name that tells us what it really does. Therfore, it slices, dices, fries, blends, cleans, buzzes, shakes, twists, bounces, makes dinner, cleans the garage, takes out the trash and helps us sleep. Everyone needs one even though nobody has a clue what to do with it.





Fuzzi Bunz.














a Woozit.





Research shows that my assumptions are 100% inaccurate and 90% funny.



-T